At My Expense

I have an odd habit of making big and memorable mistakes!

For instance: Many years ago, I told my friends that I knew a back way into a mountain town, Leadville, I think.  Anyway, we ended up on an old mining road, wide enough for one vehicle, snow packed, no guard rails, rickety bridges...you get the picture. I don't know how my bestie kept her sanity as the driver, because I was scared sick. When we did, indeed, come out in the town, it was 'funny.'  I apologized, and we have since remembered it as the time I thought I was a mountain navigator. 

Yesterday, however, is one for the record books! Frank and I hosted the bestie and husband to come visit, have a meal and then go to a candidate meet.  I had decided it would be a simple meal with Green Acres fried chicken, but I wanted to make a cobbler. Not to brag, but I'm a relatively good cook. It wasn't my first time to make cobbler, I was just craving one. I had everything I needed, and I even made my own cherry filling from some cherries I had in the freezer. The filling was thick and glossy when I poured it into the crust, and I was feeling pretty proud. 

Fast forward about two hours. We had finished supper and I was dishing up the cobbler and ice cream. There was a stray cherry on top and I popped it in my mouth. It was hard as a rock! I figured it was just really dry from being alone outside the crust. I scooped up a spoonful to put in the bowl, and there was so much liquid in the filling! How could this be? It was a cooked filling that was thick when I put the cobbler together. 

Bestie was helping me dish and distribute. She said the liquid was okay, just dish it up! 

Wait - these cherries look funny. I popped another one in my mouth and it was hard...really hard...Oh SHIT! The cherries weren't pitted! She saw the horrified look on my face and that I'd come to a full stop, and I said, "These cherries aren't pitted." She still said, just dish it up, we'll eat around it. NOooooo! I have other flavors of ice cream. No, just dish it up. Okay...

From the dining room, I hear 'I need something to put these pits in.' Frank gets little fluted Pyrex custard dishes for each person. And they all went to work on their dessert. Seemed like they were on a mission to show me it was not a big deal. 

"It's a little work, but it does taste good."

"Don't bite down, just gum it to find the pits."

"Seriously, can the seeds be planted? Probably not since they have been baked."

And on it went, literally talking about planting cherry trees and cherry orchards, like it is normal to harvest pits while eating.

As I write this morning, I'm still mortified. Frank won't let me throw it away because the crust and thick sweet gel that has now taken form in the bottom will be good, he says. (He wastes nothing.)  

So, after every mistake, I always ask myself, 'What did I learn?'

Yeah...I learned about double checking the bag for pitted/unpitted. And I provided a bit of humor that we'll joke about for years. What I really learned? People who love and care for me will go to great lengths to spare my feelings. They dutifully scooped and gummed and spit out pits so I wouldn't feel so bad. These are the folks I want to be around, and why I love and care for them, too. 

Understanding the System

Good grief! Yesterday, I opened an email saying I had a new credit score...I'll come back to this.

Frank's fortieth year - 1994 - a disastrous year financially. In January, his truck slid on an icy highway into a vehicle that turned in front of him. The damage was minimal, but the truck was old (1984) and the insurance company totaled it. 

In February, while still driving the truck until we could track down another one, the front wheels grabbed pavement on the icy highway, and the truck went end over end into a ditch. No seatbelts. Seth had a concussion and Frank was unhurt. Thank God for the guys from Wheatland Energy who stopped and pulled them out. 

It was about this time the stock market went crazy, and Frank lost about 40% of his 401K. 

In March, we were notified that his car insurance was cancelled because he was driving a totaled vehicle, and the accidents were just two weeks apart. Now in 1994, our monthly car insurance was about $200. With the stroke of the electronic pen, our insurance went from $200 to $1000 PER MONTH. This was to last for 36 months.  And that was the month Frank finally had to have his separated shoulder repaired!

Good Lord! Frank was a farm tech and I was a schoolteacher. We were already spread as far as we could be, and we had to get a vehicle, another payment! How are we going to do this?  We checked our commitments and realized there wasn't much to cut. No more extras at the grocery store. No traveling, even to see family (and fuel was below $2.00 a gallon!) No extras, regardless. I had a school pal who wanted a housekeeper, and I started cleaning again after school. I checked the thrift store before buying anything new. And, we "borrowed" from our savings, depleting our backup. Bottom line, for the next two years, we used credit. We tried hard not to spend more than absolutely necessary, but we were buying underwear, groceries, and paying medical bills with borrowed money. The interest rates were lower then, but just the same... 

I remember Suzy Whoos-it, a financial lady on TV, but her solutions were not going to work for us. I don't think Dave Ramsey was a thing then. One day, we decided to see if we could possibly procure a second mortgage. Of course we didn't! But that woman taught us a valuable lesson that led us out of the Hole of Debt. Remember when the mail was full of offers for zero interest for 18 months, then 5% after?  "Apply for those," she said. "Put as much on a card as you can, pay attention to when it is going to start charging interest. Then apply for something else." She told us to line up our credit by interest charged, then start with the least interest and concentrate on it, with minimums on the others. When one is paid off, add that payment amount to the next balance, and pay it off, and keep going like that, until it is all gone.

Those are pretty common solutions, but when living in the Hole of Debt, there is no guiding light, and we were overwhelmed and worried Because we still had at least 18 months to go on the insurance punishment, we were still counting pennies and paying Peter before Paul could show up. It was 2000 before we had paid off old debt, and we managed to help our daughter with college. 

In 2002, we changed jobs and our income was better. We could pay off any charges every month. In 2006, our second went to college and we could help him. With only mortgage and car payments, we started paying cash for fuel. We had worked really hard, and had finally driven our credit score over 800. I bought a car with nothing but my credit score to show I was a good risk!

So...yesterday, what was our credit score? UNDER 700. WTH???  Our only debt is a car payment that will be done in a few months.  I dug in...I wanted to know what the hell was going on. Seems that if we don't owe anyone and close accounts to clear our plate, our score dropped. We're SOLVENT! 

What a full circle moment! When we were deep in the Hole of Debt, we still had a credit score of mid 400's, "Fair." Now that we are comfortable, we are "Good" when we had already earned "Exceptional" and yet the score had gone backwards.  Then I learned this - Credit scoring models are based on the credit mix, accounts, age, revolving balances, and utilization.  You mean to say that if I had more debt, my score would be higher?  No, but when one makes consistent payments, it shows that one is a reliable financial manager and the score rises. Having no debt and making no payments, the score will most likely drop. One financial manager said to use debt as part of our financial package, to our advantage. Regardless of my research that said not using debt will not affect credit score, it appears that without utilization of credit (and perhaps our age??) our score has gone down. 

The rant is over. Maybe it was too-much-TMI, but it is a life lesson that has guided us through many decisions (and debates 🌞) over our marriage, and into our golden years.  We are relieved with our retirement budget and our borrowing days are over! 

Fake Farming and Weather

I grew up around farmers - always listening to the weather and planning around it. My grandpa listened every day at 7:00 and 12:00, religiously, but he knew to watch the skies and pay attention to the wind.

Farmer Frank is a weather nut - long before we took up 'farming.' He is fascinated (and somewhat leery) of the power of wind. He is amazed by wind chill, and the last few days, it is the wind that has made everyone miserable!

Anywhoo, we grew up in different weather regions. Of course, we have wind, tornados, ice storms, and blizzards. In South Carolina, they have rain, ice storms, hurricanes, and the effects of hurricanes and they HATE the cold. I packed way wrong for my first trip to South Carolina; after all, it was winter. However, on Christmas Day, we were shooting off fireworks and drinking beer, me in a borrowed pair of shorts! Other times, I've teased them about wearing coats when it is 50 degrees out! 

One funny story: When we lived in Scott City, we experienced several outstanding blizzards (which I LOVE). I think it was Christmas, and we were coming home from my parents in Ellsworth. Frank had called the boss in SC, and he said it was just beginning to snow, but it was predicted to move fast. Frank said, "We're going home." (Way before cell phones) The trip was slow, but by the time we got to Dighton, 23 miles from home, we were fighting the windshield freezing up at 15 miles an hour while following a semi to stay in his tracks. An hour later, we pulled into our garage, and the kids and I bailed out for bathroom and cocoa. Frank was stunned, quiet, and didn't have much to say. One day the following week, I asked if he had learned his lesson. "Yes" and nothing more. 

I have digressed...

As Frank has aged, he has watched the weather with a passion (obsession) I only partially understand. If I ask if it is a cold morning, because he's already been out to do chores and I need to know which coat I'll need for recess, he opens the weather app to quote me the day's predictions. I bought him an indoor-outdoor thermometer so he could see the temps, and every time he passes the monitor, he reports. He's a planner, and on mowing week, he not only checks temperature, but humidity and dew point. Now, in the summertime especially, I respect his awareness of the heat. He knows when to work and often checks the animals' waterers. He also has lawn chairs strategically stashed in shady spots for rest and to avoid being yelled at! I supply the Gatorade and frozen treats. 

On the other hand, he uses the weather to prod my day.                            "Tomorrow is supposed to be cool until about 10:00" is code for "Are you going to work in the garden?"                    "The chickens are pretty hot," i.e., "Are you going to make ice rings for the chickens?"                                      "What are you doing in the morning?" is a warning I'm needed outside for whatever!                                        

Please don't worry about him. He is completely outfitted for all seasons: insulated bibs, Carhart insulated and uninsulated hooded coats, Carhart insulated hoodie, Carhart sherpa vest, insulated boots, stocking masks, cotton gloves, leather gloves, wet gloves, insulated wet gloves, Frog wraps, sunscreen, bug spray, tick spray, cargo shorts, ratty mowing shoes, and chicken Crocs.

Weather is Frank's thing and sometimes it makes me laugh, and, at times, it is really annoying. HOWEVER, I am grateful that he is looking out for me, the pets, the animals, and taking care of the farm.

p.s. This blog's memory has been edited!

I love to read!

I'm a reader. I can't think of a time when I haven't had something to read with me - hardcover, on my phone, on paper. Heck, I have been known to take the magazine I was reading when the nurse calls my name! 

My parents read, but not voraciously. I don't remember how or when I learned to read or to love it. My mom said I could recognize words before I went to school, and reading came to me easily. As an elementary student, I read every book in our classroom library every year. 

I much prefer real books, mostly because it sends me back to childhood memories of the library in my hometown. The library had a specific smell, and when I opened a book, the book smelled that way, too. I read The Happy Hollisters, The Boxcar Children, and Irish Queen. I seldom had to pick a book because the librarian had a stack for me every time I came to visit. Something about that smell, that atmosphere, and the librarian started my long relationship with libraries. 

We moved often, and I always needed a new library. Several towns didn't have one, so I relied on the school library. Thank God for the Hutchinson Library and their bookmobile that came to our small community once a month. I could check out four books by the rules, but that librarian knew I'd bring them back, so I usually checked out eight. She, too, was always ready with a stack for me to choose from!

By the time I was in college and a new mom, I could check out books for my children and me at the university library. During my years as a middle school English teacher, I read the entire William Allen White YAL list from inception to 2002, and wrote recommendations my students could access. I developed deep relationships with John Grisham, Patricia Cornwell, Pat Conroy, and all writers of crime and mystery. I tried audio books because I commuted and seriously failed. I'm easily distracted and had to keep rewinding!

In 2002, I entered the world of administration. I tried to read for pleasure, but time was very limited. I was reading reports and state manuals, only reading numbered lists, bulleted points, red print and underlined words. I don't think I read 50 works of literature in the 19 years I was a working administrator. 

Good Reads was the first app I tried. I remember recording all the books I'd read during college, the required texts that are considered the classics. Once in a while I'd record the latest Grisham or Cornwell, but I didn't really keep up. In just a couple of years, I had a Kindle original. There are still books on it I haven't read. I downloaded many books from Amazon free reads, and they are on my phone, just in case I need a book. Enter "the" spreadsheet. Since 2002, I have been recording books I wanted to read, predominantly historical fiction and non-fiction. 

2022 was my first summer without a job. One of my retirement goals was to begin reading again. I missed it, and I had a great list. I went to town, got a library card from that very first library, and picked out three books from the TBR spreadsheet. Those first three books were torture, boring, too romancy. Stories seemed a slog. I had to read every word, and I couldn't skip pages. I had to retrain myself to read literature as opposed to school documents! Back to the library for three more books, and this time, I started to think of how I instructed my students to interpret and understand a novel. Within no time at all, I began to revel in the works of talented people, again. 

 

Because I really love data AND I compete with myself, I decided to keep track of the books I finished. In 2023 I read 13 books; 2024 I shot up to 30. In 2025, I got ridiculously obsessed with tracking. First, I added columns to the TBR spreadsheet for genre, comments, and stars. I added another app called Bookmory to my phone. It is full of options for data tracking! I set a goal of five books a month for 2025 and I missed it by 7! So, 2026 I'll try the same goal, and at least this month, I'm on track. LOL.

I can't imagine what my life would have been without books - what I've learned, where I've traveled, and what centuries I've lived in. I love getting lost in a story, curled up in a chair with a cup of coffee and at least one animal in my lap. I give all the credit to those librarians who took notice and nurtured my love of books! Thanks to God for my love of words and thanks to adults who fostered my obsession with reading!

The Work of Christmas Begins

If you read the blog last week, I told you about my dreams for  Christmas. Then I saw this meme, and it hit pretty close to home. 

December 26 was a beautiful day here
in Kansas. I slept in, then Frank made my favorite breakfast, his "hash." Simple - fry potatoes, onions, and bacon, then add eggs to scramble. It's hearty and I never turn it down. We walked our Pyrenees so they could see new fence and get an idea of their bigger perimeter. We watched movies, and snacked on leftovers. It was a wonderful day. But, it was too quiet and too "over." 

I love that the house is clean and the decorations are up, at least until Epiphany starts or the basement gets cleaned and organized with new shelves and bins. I enjoy the days I can read, knit, or take a nap. Today has felt too much like a let down after a lot of worry and work. Our children are close enough that they come and go in one day, and four or five adults isn't as magical! My siblings and I all have families, and it is hard to get everyone together. Have I missed the joy of the true meaning?

Why did that meme hit so close to home? Whether Christian or not, I want to be the person who has the commitment to be compassionate before all other things. Feed the children, protect the poor, share my gifts for the betterment of others, see a need before asked, to be a light to others. 

Please don't get me wrong - Christmas is still my favorite holiday and it holds so many memories. However, it is me that needs reminding, to hold the next 364 days with the same reverence. That's what I'm going to work on, not a resolution, but a better me.

Hope your 2026 is awesome!

Merry Christmas!

When I was a new mother, I dreamed of Christmastime filled with family, a beautiful meal, and lots of warm feelies. You know, a Hallmark Christmas. 

I think I had many of those growing up, kind of. Maybe not so spectacular. My fondest memory is of my Mom's Christmas tree; it always had blue lights, and she left it on all night. If I was up in the night, it was a special sight. I think it must have been like the light in the barn where Jesus was born:  just the light from the stars and so peaceful. If I miss anything about our little family Christmas, it is the blue lights. 

My best memories of big family Christmases are right here, where I live today. The dining table (my great grandmother's table, still in my dining room) had all the leaves in it and set with Grandma's Currier and Ives blue china. The kitchen was crowded with Grandma, Mom and Aunt Lee hurrying to put a meal on the table. Oh, the smells of turkey and stuffing and pie crust just right! Tam and I fighting over who washes and dries. The tree was a pasture cedar and wasn't overly decorated. Presents after dinner were simple and heartfelt, just two each. The TV never came on. No one had a phone. 

But Hallmark? That has never come to pass. It isn't in me to be that spectacular and I want too much to get it all done. Instead, we made our own special traditions. We had a belief that gifting needed to be special and not extravagant. Baby Jesus got three gifts, and we thought that was plenty (and stockings!). We changed dinner, fixing something we all loved - the Mexican Christmas, the Lasagna Christmas, the soup Christmas, and that tradition continues. 

Now my warm feelies come from being around family and friends. Seeing our children, if only for the day we are together. A lunch with my bestie, exchanging gifts in the Olive Garden. Messing up the serving line, according to the Vande boys! Watching the kids play with new toys. Sitting with Frank after the smoke clears and savoring the day and being  grateful for the memories made. 

Christmas, like all holidays, is a time for family and memories. Nothing flashy. Nothing more is necessary. Time to tell folks you love them and how much they mean to you. 

After all, don't all Hallmark movies have a happy ending, no matter what?!

Thanks for reading my writing this year. 

Merry Christmas!

Pawprints on Our Hearts

You are all well aware, I'm a dog worshipper. Not just a mere admirer or lover, but a worshipper. Where else are you going to find someone who loves you 24/7, follows you everywhere (RR included), knows to lay on your feet when you're cold and on your chest when you are sad, and asks only to be loved in return? That's right - your dog. Such a modest name, but I sometimes read it backwards. 

My dad loved dogs. I got all the feels from him and it started a lifelong adoration. My first orphan pup came to me in college. Mitzi. She wandered onto my porch one summer night, and she cried until I let her in. And she stayed, until I had to give her up to my parents in order to get an apartment at ESU. Then she went to live with my grandpa when his Missy passed away, where she stayed until he passed away. Since she was at my folks, she lived out her life there. 

Many years later, a little Brownie Scout was crying, and when I inquired why, she told me she had been hiding a litter of stray puppies in their camper and her dad said they had to go. Would I please take one? I did, but Max had parvo and we lost him in just a few short weeks. 

There have been more, Sugar, Scout, and Sophie - all purchased and so loved. Our rescue life began with Savy, a Queensland blue heeler that arrived at the farm skinny and covered in ticks. She was just ten weeks old, and my mom texted me a picture 🠊. LOVE!! Now our grand dame rules the roost from a comfy sofa. 

Be warned - I can't watch ASPCA commercials or read The Dodo articles on Facebook. I can't watch videos of very sick animals being rescued. But, I swear, I have never understood how someone could abandon a dog or a puppy! You just turn them lose at the dump? You put them in a dumpster? You chain them for bait? I want those people in jail - I want them to be branded, with an AA on their forehead - Animal Abuser. 

Whew...I'm calmer now... I knew I had to be part of the solution for dogs who were victims of human cruelty. 

Enter Leo ... the true love of my life. A shih-tzu that someone abandoned when he was 12 weeks old. It was unfathomable to me that someone would abandon an eight pound baby in December, left to wander the streets. He was lucky. Leo was found by the right people, and I saw a post on Facebook about a puppy that needed a foster. The journey began in earnest.

We were to be Leo's fosters. He went to two
meet and greets, and two rejections. We  couldn't live with his disappointment. In less than a week, we adopted him - a Foster Fail! I was struggling with my own problems, and he was really depressed. We spent a great deal of time together, curled up in an overstuffed chair feeling low together. Leo laid on my chest, like he was trying to heal my heart. In just a couple of days, I quit thinking about my problems, and focused on the sweet boy that now needed us. 

We foster, just one at a time. We have loved each one, and made sure its adopter really wanted to be a dog owner. Zach and Zoey, Pita, Shenandoah, and Ranger. Our current foster is a great big beautiful girl named Maya. We don't have more room in our pack, but we won't give her up until we find the perfect family. 

Our last personal rescue is Lyndy. Now, brace yourselves. We picked him out of his litter at 8 weeks, under the impression that he was a shih tzu/pug cross. When he came home at 12 weeks, we were already sure he was not much of a shih tzu, and his DNA test proved him to be a super mutt, 14 breeds! We think he has one defining characteristic of each breed! LOL. He has been the jester our pack needed. Sometimes we "accidentally" call him Lucifer! 

I wrote another blog about dogs, and I'm going to end with a thought I shared in that post. "Honestly, I'm not sure I can completely explain or understand the deep admiration I have for dogs. Maybe it is because they have an endless supply of hope for the human race. Regardless of what they have suffered, they give the next human a chance." 

We can see this journey changing as we grow older. Until then, we will help the dogs that need us, until a family makes them their very own!

P.S. Christmas puppies are forever!! 

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